#As they did make it quite hard to make this post

[actinidiafruit]

Okay so i just recently watched the lighthouse again and a lot of things are becoming more clear to me.

Contains spoilers so uh, if you haven't watched (pls do), then don't read.

There's so many things to talk about and this post will probably come across as a crazy man's ramblings, but so be it.

Tom's role is interesting to say the least. Like, at first you kinda just think that he's being a dick for the sake of being a dick and he's just doing that classic old man shit. But then you get these little glimpses.

This is just my interpretation, but the way he mentions how his former second went crazy and was hallucinating mermaids and shit. It kinds plants the seeds into (for the sake of clarity I'll just call him Winslow) Winslow's head. And during their sober run together (before the bird + storm incidents), they're acting relatively normal. Of course Tom gives Winslow a hard time, but that's just him being Tom. Abusing his power as the elder a bit. But the way he morphs in the later half of the movie (especially now that they're both abusing alcohol). You see his intentions more clearly. The way he gaslights Winslow, tries to turn things on him, the way he wrote bad things about him in the log book(?). He's a mean old guy. But why? I still can't figure out why he's done this. Why he killed his former second (which he totally did, even if he didn't spill his beans about it). Is he protective of the light? Is that it? God knows.

And te way the mermaid is presented is... it makes you think. In my first two watches, I didn't understand why or why. But I think now it's a symbol for Winslow's sexuality (at least in some scenes). The way he'd use the charm in the shed. The way he had that hallucination on the rocks. The time he caught Tom having a private moment in the lighthouse and then hallucinated tentacles. Towards the end, when he's beating Tom on the floor and Winslow hallucinates him turning into some sort of sea king type creature.

Of course something must've happened between the two. That one scene where they're drunkenly holding each other, swaying, then go to kiss before breaking out into a fight. The whole master/dog thing. There's a lot of Winslow reflected in Tom. And of course he'd eventually spill his beans, want to be intimate, etc. They've been alone together for god knows how long. It's a very human thing to want to reach out and connect.

It's just so indicative of the human condition and the way that we connect. I feel like I need to watch this movie another 20 times before I fully get it, but my eyes were opened to quite a bit.

And the scene where Winslow looks into the light and laughs/screams. It gives me this sense of triumph (he finally got to see the Forbidden thing!) but also bittersweet. The laughter is triump, the bittersweet screaming is Winslow coming to grips with the fact that it's just a light. There was no point to why Tom guarded it like he did. It's like Winslow finally realises that he let himself be led to madness by some old, lying idiot and can't help but scream at his foolishness. The pointlessness of it all. And maybe that's why he lets himself fall down the stairs and ultimately die. His sins cannot be undone (done-bun can't be undone), so therefore he rots, being eaten by the very things that kickstarted his whole downfall.

Finally, just ugh. The cinematography. The unreliable narrator aspect. The way it's so open ended to interpretation. This movie has so much to give, I just wish my friends liked it even a little lol.

updated this list btw

RULES:

at least one of the pair MUST be over 50

20 year MINIMUM age gap OR they BOTH have to be over 50

has to be conceivably reciprocal (s.exually, no necessarily romantically)

[cursingtoji]

the cardio machine i want is on the cardio machine

cw: gym rat toji x loser!gf - size kink, sweat kink (?), toji is a big old meanie. loser!gf series: geto gojo nanami.

loser!reader who, like a million other sedentary people on new year’s eve, said “new year new me” and proceeded to enroll at the local gym.

gym rat!toji who knew how things are in the beginning of the year, so the first week he arrives one hour earlier than usual to avoid all the lazy fucks that won’t last two months.

of course he makes a few mental bets on the ones that would quit and how long it would take, you included.

it’s easy to spot the “i don’t want lift weights cause i don’t want look jacked” type of girl.

at the breaks between one set and the other he looked around, not surprised to see you slowing down the treadmill after running not even two whole minutes.

sometimes he caught you staring at him through the mirror, not an uncommon occurrence amonst the women there, though you surprised him one day by tapping his shoulder after he finishing his weighted squats.

“can you… give me a few tips?” he looked so intimidated, from up close his shoulders looked like a wall, he stared at you from above, dark green eyes seemed to be heavily judging you, “never mind this was a bad idea, sorry” you turned around, grabbing you bottle and running off the gym.

by the time you managed to gather the courage to show your face back there two whole weeks had passed.

“consistency is the key you know” you were distracted looking down your phone while slowly walking the treadmill when the handsome man appeared beside you, the sudden presence destabilized you.

before you could become the viral video of the week when inevitably a gym employee decides to post the security footage of your ass rolling off the active treadmill, toji wrapped one big arm around your waist and pulled you to the stable floor.

“you caught me off guard the other day” he said completely unfazed by saving you from a life of embarrassment, “then you disappeared.”

“yeah i didn’t know if i wanted to come back anyways, i haven’t see any results so far” you pulled the hem of your shirt down.

toji snorted, “‘course you ain’t seeing results, sweetheart, you don’t lift.”

“well, it’s hard…” toji rolled his eyes, there was always an excuse.

though he also did a new year’s resolution of being more patient, for his kids primarily but teaching a cute thing like you could be a good exercise too.

soon enough, toji was correcting your form, texting you asking why you haven’t showed up to the gym and ringing your bell incessantly when you complained about muscle pain and said you wouldn't go that day.

“it’ll feel better once you start to move” he explained, resting on your door frame when you opened the door on your pajamas.

“let me alone, just today” you whined.

“you asked for my help now go put on something without cartoons on it” he waited for you to turn around and slapped your butt. it had been only one week he was coaching you but there was already a weird intimacy due to the fact he was pretty much always looking at your body and touching you.

to correct your form. obviously.

"what do i have to do today, coach fushiguro?" you asked from your bedroom through an ajar door which allowed toji to get a peek at your pink underwear and cute ass.

"cardio, bicycle first. get some blood flowing on those sore muscles" he tilted his head and raised his eyebrows watching you bend over to grab a biker shorts at the lowest drawer then holding back a laughter at the grunt of pain coming from you.

"once it gets better i can teach you other types of cardio" he walked around your kitchen examining your cabinets and stuff you kept in your fridge. needless to say it was all junk.

"can't wait" you replied sarcastically, failing to understand the meaning.

it took a few more days till you got used to toji's training, then he decided to focus on your upper body.

"such a simple movement, how do you manage to get that wrong?" he raised from the bench he was sitting behind you watching your form through the mirror. you almost dropped the weights at your feet when he came close. it was almost scary how much bigger than you he was especially seeing it throght the mirror. his right hand wrapped around yours on the dumbell and his bicep touched your arm as he pushed your arm closer to your body, "tuck your elbows in, straight your back" his free hand pushed your shoulders till they were touching his chest.

how come he smelled so good, so... musky and...

"are you even making any force?" he lowered his head, his reflection looking annoyed. so you decided to ignore the sudden heat between your thighs and flex your arm the way he taught you.

and just like he promised, when you were consistent enough and handling a good 5 minute run he decided to show you a more pleasing cardio.

"toji please~" you whined, thighs burning from riding him, you were using his rock hard abdomen as a support, but still.

"one more minute, come on" he looked at the watch on his wrist and slapped your ass, "haven't i prep-ed you good enough?" his thumb rubbed your bottom lip then pushed in meeting your tongue, where you tasted yourself in his digits one hour after he ringed your bell and said he was going to reward your good discipline, but he had to strech you first.

"good girl" you felt his abdomn flex when he raised from his laying position on your bed, "now leave it to daddy" he pecked your lips and quickly changed positions, putting a pillow under your ass and rolling his neck to start his cardio of the day.

[bbyseok]

the final conclusion of this post, where your boyfriend gojo satoru always starts floating because of his powers whenever you kiss him…

some time in your second or third year, satoru got ahold of his powers and no longer floats up into the air after you bestow him a kiss on the lips. it’s a funny endeavor that you’ll miss, but it did make your make out sessions a whole lot easier.

it’s years later.

he’s older now—you both are; your seemingly carefree high school days are long behind you now, but the two of you still find yourselves at jujutsu high as teachers.

gojo satoru couldn’t ask for a better partner than you to help him navigate his dream in supporting a new generation of sorcerers, and he gets along with his students very well (so he says).

your life is far from perfect… plagued by dangerous curses, riddled with the higher ups’ stupidity, getting through every day not knowing what could happen next—but it’s enough for you, especially with satoru at your side.

but it seems like it’s not quite enough for satoru.

it’s some time past midnight.

even after all this time, gojo still craves those stupid, overly sweet candies and late night snack runs. old habits die hard apparently.

he claims that it keeps your love life spontaneous, and who are you to deny him?

“‘toru…” you groan, rubbing at your eyes groggily as he tugs you along.

you’re clad in one of gojo’s hoodies that thrown over you in his haste, and it’s much too big on you with your hands that are drowning in the arm sleeves. (but for the record, you look like the epitome of perfection in your boyfriend’s eyes like this.)

but the snowy-haired man pays little attention to your weak protests, his boyish laugh being carried on the evening breeze.

it’s a fond sound you’ll never tire of as he says, “come on, sweetheart! i promise i’ll get you whatever you want.”

he always does.

and after you’ve secured snacks and whatever gojo had been craving for, you’re back outside. but you only take a few steps when it strikes you that this place seems somewhat… familiar.

the artificial light glows strongly from the convenience store, paired with the glistening moonlight pouring down from the night sky. it’s simple and pretty, but you’re distracted by the way it highlights satoru’s eyes.

this is the very same place where you and satoru had your first kiss.

it’s been a while since you’ve both been here—life is like that. the lights and windows have been altered in appearance, and the building itself has aged… but it’s obvious that it’s still the same place.

“satoru?” you sputter out, surprised.

he merely grins at you, his head tilting to the side bashfully with his snowy bangs falling over his eyes. “i never forgot about this store,” he confesses, glancing at it briefly.

your gaze softens, following his gaze. “me either.”

gojo grabs ahold of one of your hands, his thumb gently tracing over the lines of your knuckles as he meets your stare again. “you know, i think i fell in love with you that night you kissed me here,” he tells you, followed by a quiet chuckle.

his words cause a flurry of butterflies to erupt in your stomach. he always manages to do that, even after all this time. “yeah?” you hum softly.

satoru nods. “mhm.” after a moment, he continues. “so i… i think it’s rather fitting that i do this here too.”

you blink at him. “..do what?”

with his free hand, gojo digs into his jacket pocket for something. there’s a permanent smile sketched onto his lips as he finds it, and then—

he slowly sinks down on to one knee.

there’s a ring held delicately in his fingers, glistening in the dark. your breath catches.

you hadn’t expected for him to propose to you like this—way past your bedtime next to the convenience store with a grocery bag full of candies in your hands but now that you think about it… it’s very gojo satoru for you.

at the look of bewilderment painted over your face, satoru laughs.

“well…” and he utters your name with a tenderness that you and only you know, “will you marry me?”

a wobbly laugh leaves you then, your heart caught in your throat. “—!? yes! yes, satoru, i’ll marry you.”

gojo slips the ring onto your finger with ease, like it had always belonged there. you immediately pull him up to his feet as the two of you eye how the gemstone glimmers against your skin.

when your eyes meet his crystalline blue ones, it feels like the stars are under your feet, meeting him halfway in a passionate kiss.

you’ve kissed him probably more than millions of times in this lifetime—through the good and the bad; some are somber, some are silly.

and tonight?

you’re— oh, you’re floating.

sure enough, satoru’s feet are off the floor due to his powers for old times’ sake, dragging you up with him in his arms, and it makes you giggle against his lips.

“‘toru?!!”

but gojo seems just as surprised and amused by this circumstance just as you are. you can feel the puff of his laughter, the kind of laughter that makes his shoulders shake.

“guess you still sweep me off my feet,” satoru cheekily remarks.

to which you only respond with a fond roll of your eyes—and another kiss that steals his breath away and keeps you both in the air.

oh, well—soon, he’ll be your husband that occasionally floats when you kiss him.

[astro-stars]

leaked nicknames

When Yuu's list of nicknames and their supposed reasonings gets leaked, NRC erupts into chaos. Some are flattered, others are confused, and a handful are completely mortified. Meanwhile, the Magicam audience is eating this up, dubbing it one of Yuu’s most iconic moments to date.

Immediate Reactions Across NRC

Magicam Frenzy

Cater posts: “YUU REALLY CALLED RIDDLE ‘BBG’ AND MALLEUS ‘NIGHT HUSBAND.’ 💀🔥 #NicknameGate #YuuNeverMisses”

Comments are out of control:

“TSUNOTARO IS REAL AND WE HAVE PROOF.”

“She really called Azul ‘love’ while Floyd gets a literal eel translation. I’M CRYING.”

“‘Peepaw’ for Lilia is SENDING ME.”

Dorm-Specific Reactions

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts:

Blushing furiously. “BBG?! Yuu! That is… highly inappropriate! Please refrain from calling me such embarrassing things!”

Trey Clover:

Laughs nervously. “Malewife, huh? I… I guess I’ll take it as a compliment?”

Ace Trappola:

DYING WITH LAUGHTER. “THE BRAIN CELL DUO?! I’M GONNA TELL EVERYONE YOU SAID THAT!”

Deuce Spade:

Stammering, completely flustered. “W-Wait, we’re the brain cell duo? Is that… a good thing?”

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar:

Raises an eyebrow, smirking. “teta, huh? I don’t even want to know what that means.”

Ruggie Bucchi:

Laughing so hard he’s clutching his sides. “Mono? Cute?! Yuu, you really think I’m cute?! This is GOLD!”

Jack Howl:

Blushing furiously, his ears twitching. “Wolfie… I don’t mind it, but… did you have to make it public?”

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto:

Adjusts his glasses, his face flushed. “Amor? Really, Yuu? That’s… quite bold of you.”

Jade Leech:

Smirks, clearly entertained. “Ah, Anguila. Such a fitting name. I’ll make sure Floyd appreciates it as well.”

Floyd Leech:

Laughing uncontrollably. “SHRIMPY, YOU CALLED ME AN EEL?! THAT’S SO BORING! GIVE ME A COOLER NICKNAME!”

Scarabia

Kalim Al-Asim:

Beaming. “Sunshine! That’s so sweet, Yuu! You’re like sunshine too!”

Jamil Viper:

Groans, covering his face. “Pretty boy? Really? Couldn’t you have chosen something less… embarrassing?”

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

Nods approvingly. “Ma reine. At least someone recognizes true royalty around here.”

Epel Felmier:

Snickering. “You gave Rook ‘mon chasseur,’ but what about me, huh?! I deserve a nickname too!”

Rook Hunt:

“Ah, mon cher Yuu! Your acknowledgment of my hunting prowess is magnifique! You flatter me greatly!”

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud:

MORTIFIED. “Sámi?! Yuu! You can’t just… call me that! It’s way too accurate!”

Ortho Shroud:

Beaming. “My son! Yuu, that’s so sweet! I’ll always be your baby!”

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia:

Smiling softly. “Tsunotaro and night husband. I am honored by your affectionate names, Yuu.”

Lilia Vanrouge:

Laughing hysterically. “Peepaw?! Yuu, I feel so ancient now! But it’s hilarious, so I’ll allow it!”

Silver:

Blinks slowly, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “Pretty princess… I don’t understand, but if it makes you happy, Yuu.”

Sebek Zigvolt:

YELLING. “COCODRILO?! HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO SUCH A CREATURE?! I AM FAR SUPERIOR!”

The Fallout

Fans on Magicam are spiraling:

“Yuu’s nicknames are both chaotic and wholesome. ICONIC.”

“Night husband and peepaw in the same list? Yuu’s range is unparalleled.”

Memes flood in, with captions like:

*“Yuu: ‘Mono means cute.’ Ruggie: ‘I AM LIVING FOR THIS.’”

“Trey: ‘Malewife.’ Azul: ‘Amor.’ The duality of Yuu’s nicknames.”

i wanted to try smth different:)

DIVIDER: @/enchanthings-a

TAGLIST: @lunasmisosoup @soramcduckahyucky

[the-clock-of-the-time-dragon]

Man, for someone who keeps invoking media literacy, you sure seem to be struggling with accurately addressing the points that I've been making.

1) He is good at lying to people about who he is, all while being able to make himself likable 2) He is secretly unhappy and has been thinking about the day with the Lion Cub a lot

Here's part of where I think we fundamentally disagree: I don't think he's much of a liar tbh. He doesn't care enough to lie. If anything, he seems almost incapable of it at times. He has coping mechanisms — namely: telling himself (and others) that even though life is pointless, that's actually awesome because you can do whatever you want and not have to worry about anything — and one could, I suppose, argue that he's lying to himself in that sense? But he does clearly WANT to believe it, and acts accordingly. True, Elphaba sees discontent within him and assumes he must be hiding some inner depth (because how can he possibly be unhappy if he's empty inside?? selfish and shallow people don't feel bad about stuff or help others!), but I think his later actions actually show how shallowness can sometimes have its own kind of depth, and selfishness can have its own kind of beneficence. I'm aware this isn't intuitive or prima facie stuff — that's why I posted an analysis about it.

I think it’s a much more plausible headcanon that he has always been working as a double agent than your headcanon that he’s decided instead to randomly embrace being a fascist.

Honey, here's the thing: contrary to what you suggest, mine is not a headcanon in this case. At all. He became a fascist soldier. All ulterior motives (speculative or not) aside: that is simply what he did. It's text. I never said he "embraced" it in the sense that he liked it. It's directly stated that he doesn't like his situation. But that didn't stop him from quite literally choosing to be in that situation. Sucking up whatever other feelings he has and doing it anyway.

Maybe it’s hard to “reconcile the compassionate boy we saw in the woods with a fascist commander” because he isn’t one?

Except he literally is. That is what he became. Your insistence that he worked his way through the ranks of a fascist military without ever doing any of the actions that make someone fascist is beyond belief. Like obviously I understand that your contention here is that he didn't "become" a fascist on an ideological level. He just went through the motions without internalizing or identifying with the fascists' ideas. But I'm afraid plenty of German (or hell, Confederate) soldiers were "just fighting for their loved ones" and "didn't actually believe in all that stuff": but they fought anyway. And they fought on the wrong side, and did the things that came to define what we think of when we talk about their regimes. You are doing exercises in idealization. Becoming a fascist is as much (or more) about physically carrying out the acts of fascism as it is about adhering to what it proposes. Rejecting the latter does not erase the former.

Maybe if you “read by sheer text; on the actions and statements on the page” you’d realise that his actions in act one don’t make sense in act two if you read him as part of the regime?

He. Is. Part. Of. The. Regime. You don't get to say he was somehow set apart on some abstract level from the force that he commanded. Good Lord.

My point about the challenge of reconciling Fiyero between Act I and Act II was not "wow, this doesn't make sense, he must have changed so drastically!!!" I literally explained my point. He hardly changed at all — and that's interesting. The ways in which he did change are equally interesting — because they aren't positive, contrary to what one may usually expect from a character arc of a male lead in a fantasy story. In most such stories the male lead confronts his flaws and he either overcomes them or makes peace with them. Fiyero does neither — which is completely in character and honestly a perfect and natural evolution from where he began — and from a writing perspective I absolutely love it, lol

Oh sorry, Fiyero should have just gone down to the resistance job shop and got a top post there!

I know this is tongue-in-cheek, but the fact your unironic insinuation underneath it appears to be that... *checks notes* rebellions do not have job openings for charismatic men of action...??? Where were you going with this??? lol

The resistance that, as far as we know, basically doesn’t exist, as it doesn’t seem like Elphaba has got much help either (we know there’s rebel Animals that shelter her, but she’s also at the point where she tries to beg her father for help and seriously considers just giving up and joining the Wizard).

Hon... has it occurred to you that by the time we get to Act II... the rebels are fringe and weak because they've been repressed for years by the forces Fiyero volunteered in? Like, we are TOLD that there are rebels. That's a fact. We know that one of the primary activities of the Gale Force is violent repression against Animals. Come on. You're good at extrapolation. Put two and two together here.

But in all seriousness: no movement? Start one then. If it's really that deep. Sounds like a skill issue to me.

Someone has to do this job, if it’s not Fiyero it’s someone a lot worse. We know Fiyero has compassion for Animals, we know Fiyero wants to protect Elphaba (we literally see him doing so three times in act 2). If Fiyero places himself in command, however grim it might be, he now has some degree of control over Oz’s army and how much damage they can do to the Animals and Elphaba.

The damage has been done though. On his watch. To some extent on his ORDERS even. The Animals are all but erased from Oz. Elphaba is so deep in hiding that Fiyero, with all the resources at his command, hunting her desperately, still turns up nothing every time. "Someone has to do this job", when the job is fascism, is not a defense. In fact, "I was just doing my job" is a very well-known and infamously horrible non-defense particular to this exact context. It'd be a better overall argument if him being captain instead of someone else had actually made some objective difference to the end results, but we don't see that. Like I guess you could really stretch things and credit Fiyero for there still being a small holdout of rebel Animals around at all?? Like maybe if he hadn't been there, they'd have been dealt with a bit more aggressively or something? But that seems like a pretty meager end to try and justify his means.

It wasn’t planned that he’d meet her in the throne room, no, but it certainly was planned, by putting himself as the head of the search for the Witch, that if she was found in a dangerous situation he could get her out of it. He manages to get all his guards away and for her to escape safely, he couldn’t have done this if he’d been in any other position.

And he couldn't have achieved anything comparable in ANY other way besides doing fascism? Really?

Imagine, if you will, an alternate scenario: Fiyero doesn't join the Gale Force, and instead joins with the rebellion. Elphaba finds him. They're working together to save Animals again, like old times. They do stuff together and they have each other's backs if either one is caught in a tough spot. Fiyero never gets engaged to Glinda. Is that not a MUCH less convoluted, far more sensible plan? The fact that all explanations for why Fiyero chose anything OTHER than that seem to boil down to weird borderline fascist apologia, is how I know my points are valid.

you told me him being in the Gale Force achieved nothing, it saved Elphaba’s life and allowed the ending to happen.

The logic here is just... Okay. Hon. If he. Had chosen. Something else. The sequence. Of events. Would be. Radically different. And Elphaba. Would not. Have been. In the. Situation that. You give. Him credit. For saving. Her from. At all.

If you joined the Mafia "to protect your family", and then your cousin follows you into a meeting one day and almost gets shot, but you stepped in and stopped it, that doesn't somehow mean things went according to your plan; you only "protected" them from a scenario they would never otherwise have been in had it not been for you, lol

Even her sad verse in Thank Goodness imply she joined because she wanted it (and only later found out it wasn’t quite how she planned).

And y'know a very particular way it wasn't like how she'd planned? She didn't plan on getting it as part of her abuse. Being showered with nice things is a well-known abuse tactic, because it's enticing and allows the abuser to insinuate that their victim was consenting and enthusiastic about what happened to them. There's more to it, absolutely — Glinda is perhaps the most complicated character in the show — but the fact you insist on victim-blaming over and over is... wow.

No one was going to imprison her,

The guards physically detained her and Elphaba had to break the laws of fucking physics to get them to let go, wtf are you talking about, lmfao

there’s literally no reason at all to enslave her,

Except that she's the closest person in the world to their new Public Enemy #1, and can be leveraged in about a million different ways in their favor. Glinda has intel. Elphaba might have been tempted to try and come back and get her. She's a perfect bargaining chip in case Elphaba got too aggressive too: the Witch might back off if Glinda's life were threatened. And, as the Wizard quickly discovers: Glinda is really likable and sociable and boosts morale wherever she goes. So they made her theirs, and dulled her pain by trying to appease and cater to her in every superficial way available. This is Abuse 101, hon.

But ok, let’s take your “enslavement” fantasy scenario. Fiyero is literally the next candidate for Morrible to “enslave”, she knows he and Elphaba were at least tentative friends, she might even have realised he was also absent after the day with the Lion Cub, he’s dating Glinda and his royal connections and fame and likeability make him a useful asset. If Morrible really is blackmailing people to join her on trumped up charges, it would be very easy for her to either use the Lion Cub situation to blackmail into it, or threaten to hurt Glinda if he does not.

"Fantasy"... jfc dude, lol

Fiyero wasn't literally in the palace in the clutches of the guards as a perceived accomplice to the Witch at the end of Act I. The situations are apples and oranges.

Tbh as far as we know, Fiyero didn't really know a ton about Elphaba to begin with; certainly no specific useful intel. There's no reason to think Morrible ever put two and two together vis-à-vis the cub — a slacker student like Fiyero being absent from class isn't weird. And even if for some reason she did get suspicious enough to press the matter, there's so little she'd have to go off of that he could literally just say he ducked out when the whole class started spasming, and that's pretty much that. And yeah sure he's "dating" Glinda, and may under the right circumstances be manipulable if she got threatened: but let's not forget this is also the dude who abandoned her the very first chance he got, and then pointed a gun at her as a bluff without a second thought. He doesn't care enough about Glinda for that to be really leverageable, and it's not like Morrible wouldn't know that: his unenthusiastic response at their engagement announcement would tell her, if nothing else had by that point.

But then... Fiyero didn't ever need to be coerced to become what he became. He volunteered. Glinda was caught in the attic and knew a certain regime-delegitimizing, worldview-shattering secret — I fail to see how there is any scenario you can seriously propose in which the Wizard letting her go with that knowledge, with her closeness to Elphaba, etc., could even be halfway tenable from the Wizard's perspective. It actually defies belief that you can misread her situation as badly as you are.

This is headcanon.

Nah. He literally sang two separates songs about it. Dancing Through Life's whole thing is "nihilism rocks because you can just do stuff and never worry about it", and his part in So Long As You're Mine has him going "I don't care about anything except acting on our desires in this fleeting moment". I don't need to headcanon anything to simply point out that those sentiments are neither deep nor considerate (and, as I have said: don't have to be), lol

This is canon: he pointed a gun at the Wizard to help Elphaba escape. He had to escape too.

He spent years specifically trying to find her, with the heavily implied desire to run away with her. And what did he do the second he saw her? Ran away with her. Say she hadn't been in danger: say she was either undiscovered, or was reconciled with the Wizard. Do you think — based on your own version of him, double agent headcanon and all — that he would have been content NOT to leave there with her then? That after years of searching, he would just let her fly out of there and leave him behind again? Did we watch the same show?? At this point your take on him is even more reactive and thoughtless than mine, if you think his character would allow him to not only deny his passion for her but also to stay in a situation he regards as meaningless and insufferable. As I said to begin with: he can be protective of her AND do so shallowly and selfishly. Reread my original post if you need a refresher on what makes his attachment to her shallow and selfish; and friendly reminder that my saying these things is not a diss, I'm a fan of Genuinely Self-Absorbed, Deeply Shallow Fiyero.

“He doesn't think about the potential consequences of abandoning Glinda; for never cared about either his own safety or hers,” I’m sorry, are you really blaming Glinda telling Morrible and the Wizard to spread a rumour about hurting Nessa on Fiyero? Talk about fucking victim blaming.

Genuinely baffled as to your thought process here — I never said one word about what you're referring to, I was literally just pointing out that Fiyero didn't remotely consider that his fiancée could potentially catch some flak for his unexpected treason, or that leaving her totally alone with her abusers could worsen her situation (as we actually do see by the time of March of the Witch Hunters, where Morrible is far more directly and openly cruel to her than she was when Fiyero was there). This should be familiar to anyone who's seen abusers behave differently when other people are around, but flip a switch as soon as they have their victim all to themselves.

Not the Elphaba faking her own death plan! That must have taken days as the scarecrow. And careful manoeuvring of everything involved!

Cute, but you do realize you're agreeing with my point, right? Unless you're NOT being sarcastic, in which case... Okay. Fiyero did not plan the Melting. We aren't told how far in advance Elphaba planned the Melting, or what degree of input Fiyero had in it (hard to coordinate beforehand considering she was in a whole different part of Oz than he was, he was with Dorothy at the time, and, y'know... she only just learned that the Scarecrow was him MOMENTS before the Melting) but the pieces were all there and so simple that he could intuitively figure out basically what she was trying to pull off. Secret passage. Fire. Water. Rumor. Literally all he had to do was play along with the stage she'd set. It doesn't exactly take a Doctor of Thinkology.

Well I have happy news for you! He no longer has a hollow existence! That’s literally what act two is trying to tell us! Elphaba: Fiyero, you frightened me. I thought, I though you might have changed. Fiyero: I have... changed. * You’ve got me seeing through different eyes Somehow I’ve fallen under your spell and somehow I’m feeling it’s up that I fell

I hate to burst you bubble... but he hasn't changed for the better. I already said that. He still has a hollow existence — he tells us just how hollow it is in Thank Goodness — he just looks to Elphie as his one and only solace. I've elaborated on some of the layers behind it, but basically I argue that he chose Elphaba as his object of desire precisely because that is what she represents to him, in its purest form. Desire. She's "the one that got away"; the one he can't find; can't reach. The only thing in his meaningless life that's unavailable — and therefore tantalizing. She's the only one who doesn't swoon over him or get caught up in his carefree dissociative escapism. She's the one with a sexual tension so palpable but so frustratingly unresolved (until As Long As You're Mine ofc). She's the only challenge in his life that isn't an ineffable internal conflict between his id and superego: and in fact soothes that conflict because she stimulates them both.

[Wicked Act II spoilers]

[edited for tone and clarity of purpose, apologies for initial crudeness and frustration]

Okay, obviously I'm biased, but I'm gonna need the Fiyeraba shippers to please set a lot of your people straight about some things. I've seen way too many people trying to say that Glinda is just a selfish bimbo and that Fiyero is a virtuous and selfless figure more worthy of Elphaba's love. I'll set aside for now the idea of "worthiness" in this context. But let's start off with Fiyero joining the Wizard. Hoo boy...

Yes, he was initially somewhat less tolerant of the propaganda against Elphaba than Glinda was; yes, he was secretly trying to find her so he could run away with her or whatever. But honey: those facts DO NOT fully absolve his actions as the Wizard's top officer, or selfish recklessness throughout Act II. I see so many popular threads and posts romanticizing and whitewashing with "oh but he didn't REALLY join the Wizard, he just pretended so he could try to get to Elphie! It's all for love, and he sacrificed everything for her!" As if the literal captain of the literally fascist forces responsible for the oppression of Animals wasn't equally responsible for said oppression?? Hello? Fiyero really didn't think of seeking out Elphaba in ANY other way that DIDN'T involve becoming *checks notes*... the trusted leader of the troops committing all the abuses she's fighting against in the first place???? Like it's cool and all that he helped with Brrr, and it's all well and good that he planned on betraying the Wizard as soon as he found Elphaba (which took literal years, so I guess we're left to assume he was prepared to just keep doing fascism indefinitely if she didn't show up????), but uh... it's kind of concerning to how eager some of you are to make excuses for this dude volunteering as the head of the Ozian Gestapo??? smdh

He didn't accomplish anything from it either, by the way — like yeah, we get it, he did everything he did whilst silently fantasizing about running away with the Witch he was being paid to hunt. Fine. But I can't be the only one who doesn't buy that as an actual excuse???? Like, guys: nobody forced him to join the fascist army — even with crazy ulterior motives. He wasn't coerced into it; it wasn't his only choice or anything. Searching for Elphaba did not somehow compel him to go and volunteer to follow (or to give!) orders in the name of the dictator who was trying to have her assassinated the entire time. He could have just not done all that. (Genuinely so curious how the second film plans on covering that material tbh)

Glinda made several questionable decisions that can be (and have been) debated, but she is still very unambiguously a victim. Her position in the Wizard's regime was foisted upon her. There are things we can discuss, but I find that many folks need reminding that Glinda would undoubtedly have been disposed of (or worse) if she failed to make herself useful. I mean hell: she wasn't even supposed to meet the Wizard in the first place — she was only there because of Elphie. If she'd tried to resist, it would have immediately gotten her labeled the Witch's accomplice. As soon as she'd chosen not to get on the broom, her fate was out of her hands, and all available options were varying degrees of horrible.

That's not the case with Fiyero. He went to the Wizard all on his own; no one ever cornered or forced him into it. Thinking Animals are people, and having a crush on Elphaba, simply did not stop him from carrying out the regime's orders — for years. It's not clear exactly how long he's been captain at the start of Act II, but the clear implication is that he's been a soldier for most of the time skip. I've seen Fiyeraba accounts with headcanons about him acting as a double agent, secretly doing stuff to help Animals — and that's a great idea, it would indeed serve to make a lot of his actions way more palatable — but until we actually get to SEE some of that (maybe they'll add it for the movie version of Act II; we'll have to see), there is nothing in the story to suggest that. He certainly didn't do a damn thing for all those Animals who were enslaved and caged in the Wizard's palace — and we don't see a single other Animal outside of there in Act II, so as far as we know Fiyero has participated over those years in the near-total removal of Animals from Ozian society. In the name of "finding Elphaba". Not fighting for her cause. Just finding HER. For HIMSELF.

It's fine to have a ship you like, obviously — and there is genuinely a lot to like about Fiyeraba, I don't dislike the idea of them as a couple or as friends — but come on guys: please stop those out there idealizing Fiyero as somehow a clear "morally-superior" alternative to Glinda, lol. The dude had power, access, and opportunities, for years, that he could have wielded in any number of really selfless, revolutionary ways. He didn't. And I propose (apparently controversially): he simply didn't want to. And that — at the end of the day — is (much as some would like to deny it) true to his character. He always WANTED to be self-absorbed and shallow, and all his actions are consistent with that. Elphaba saw depth and discontentment in him, yes: but (and I cannot stress this enough) when given the chance, he channeled that in the wrong direction. He didn't confront that and become a better person — for the most part he just displaced and projected it onto Elphaba as an object of obsession, and put on an even thicker pretense than before.

All his actions — regardless of the complexity he has deep down — are those of a man who never gives one fuck about anything or anyone, except (kinda sorta) Elphaba. But even then: at no time does the care he has for her seem to extend to caring about any of her wants or needs outside of sexual validation from him, or how she might feel about his actions, or indeed the impacts of those actions upon her, her cause, or anyone or anything else. I don't think it should be all that controversial to say: he doesn't think through the wider repercussions of anything he does — thoughtlessness is just one of his core character traits. He doesn't think ahead or see meaning in anything outside of what can temporarily excite him, in the moment. I think people place a little too much weight on Elphaba clocking him with regard to his internal pain, and seem to expect (understandably of course) that she is not only right, but moreover that he will grow from that in a positive direction, based on her influence.

But he doesn't. If anything, we get a surprising inverse: he pretty much proves her wrong. Not to say he didn't have hidden depth and all that, like she said: but his hypothetical heart of gold proves not to really amount to much in practice. He doesn't grow out of his shallowness and his self-centeredness: he grows into it in a way that he hadn't quite yet in school. Where once he was only masking an internal listlessness, after he's been cracked open by Elphaba he decides to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow, not just coasting by. He performs in new ways — as a soldier, eventually as a "fiancé", etc. — but by Act II we meet a Fiyero who has staked the last remaining shred of humanity in him on the vain pursuit of the only object of his desire that has ever been unavailable to him, and firmly chosen to say to hell with everyone and everything else.

When put to the test, Fiyero sacrifices Glinda, the Animals, and all else that Elphaba actually cared about, to pursue his own unresolved crush from college. Mostly to get in her pants, really — as harsh as I'm sure that sounds. But let me be frank: that is literally all he ever accomplishes in the show. He gives her dick one time, and one of his castles, and that's it. That's the culmination of his years trying to find her — years in which he actively worked as one of the stormtroopers (or even the one commanding them) committing untold crimes against Animalkind (who, again, it seems have been all but erased from Oz by Act II): y'know, the very crimes Elphaba sacrificed her life to try and stop????? He spent the most important time of his life — of his own free will — being a fascist soldier, but he "did it for her" somehow, so according to some, it's perfectly fine. Heroic, even. Yikes??

But let's make something very clear (since my original version of this post caught a lot of flak, including slurs and other rudeness):

I like Fiyero. I find his role extremely interesting (I could do a whole dissertation on him, but I'm especially a fan of the way his proving Elphaba's assessment of him wrong presents a fascinating parallel and contrast with Glinda, which I think is lost on a lot of people). But PLEASE stop with all the misguided Glinda slander and idealization of Fiyero. By all means, thirst! But don't give me all this bullshit about him deserving Elphaba more, or being super deep, or being really principled or noble or whatever else. He does have layers, and quite intriguing ones, but his insides are straw — he isn't meant to have some deep, overwrought emotional core or motivations; he has passions that he acts upon when given the chance. That's it. And that's fine. Actually kind of refreshing in a story rooted in simple children's fantasy but rife with intensely complicated personalities. Fiyero makes it his mission to represent denial of depth and embrace of raw, spontaneous desire — and I for one love that, and wish others appreciated it.

And in all seriousness, shipping wars aside: by the end of the story, it's Glinda who is ultimately vindicated, and has — for all her faults — made the necessary choices to fulfill Elphaba's wishes, bring down the regime, etc. And all that despite herself. She's miserable: not just because of the mistakes she made, but because of her correct moves as well. Fiyero is simply not — and could never be — that person. And that's okay! Like I said: I am not anti-Fiyero. Fiyero's willingness to throw it all away for the sake of sheer, overriding passion is a huge part of what people like about him, of course — and it's an obvious factor in the attraction between him and Elphaba, because she has her own flavor of that impulse as well — but I'd actually argue that it's not romantic, it's his fatal flaw. And thematically that's fantastic! But I just don't believe that it somehow means he "deserves Elphaba more" because he "gave up his life for her" or whatever. In part because NOBODY truly "deserves" Elphie tbh, not 100% (and I question anybody who claims otherwise), but ultimately because I don't accept the idea that his fleeting acts of passion make up for all the shit leading up to them (or even proceeding after them tbh). At least Glinda managed to do what Elphaba always wanted in the end — but I would die on this hill even if Gelphie didn't exist.

You don't have to agree with my analysis of Fiyero and his choices, relationships, etc. — that's fine. What isn't fine is trying to portray Glinda as some kind of spineless traitor whore for the Wizard and Fiyero as a conscientious hero who earned Elphie through self-sacrifice. That's just not the story that was written. It's WAY messier and more interesting than that.

[kteezy997]

threesome with timothée but like f,m,f

This is just a smutfest with no real plot.

Timothée could hardly believe it. He was headed back to his hotel room with two women.

They were a couple of fans that he had given tickets to for the A Complete Unknown premiere. And they were really cute and sweet, so he invited them to the after party as well. After a couple of hours and a few drinks between him and the girls, he asked them if they wanted to leave with him. They immediately said yes.

They were whispering back and forth and giggling the whole way. Once he opened the door with his key card, they moved quickly to take turns kissing him.

He shut the door and put an arm around each of them in a swift movement. The blonde would touch his chest, his arms, while the red head would tug on his jacket and run her fingers through his hair. Fuck, he needed this.

He grabbed the woman to his right by the back of her head, swabbing his tongue deep into her mouth.

The woman with her lips suctioned to his neck stopped for a second to ask, “What do you want us to do, Timmy?”

He pulled away from the pair of lips he was devouring, thinking, “Take off your clothes.”

……

He had them both laid bare on the bed in front of him as his undressed. His chest heaved with anticipation with each drop of an article of clothing.

Their little giggles were like music to his ears as he approached them. Climbing over them both, he kissed the red haired woman first, reveling in her plump lips. Soft, eager hands roamed all over his body. He parted from her lips, holding her jaw possessively as he turned to the blonde.

She moaned his mouth as he captured her lips, vibrating his tongue. His cock was hard, starting to drip with precum. He knew he was leaking drops onto the women’s bodies, and it turned him on even more.

The red head moved boldly as he made out with the other woman. She held his cock, squeezing gently, moving her hand carefully up and down, as she collected the precum at his tip for lubricant.

He parted from the pair of wet lips to hiss sharply in pleasure. “Fuck.” he moaned softly.

Next, he touched each woman’s pussy. Both hands occupied, he slowly rubbed their clits. He felt how wet they both were as their moans filled the hotel room. They succumbed to a blur of whimpers and cursing under their breaths.

It was quite erotic as he slid his fingers into them. Both sat up on their elbows, giving him ‘fuck me’ eyes as he pumped his fingers inside of them. “Oh, Timmy.” cried the blonde, collapsing onto her back as he increased his pace. The red head kept her composure, but her eyes rolled back in her head as she trembled.

“Fuck, I wanna taste.” he said, removing his hands, and diving mouth first between the redhead’s thighs.

“Mmm.” she moaned as his tongue danced all over her clit. She shoved her fingers into his hair. As he began to suck and nibble, she cried out, “Oh my god, Timmy!”

The bed shifted slightly, the blonde girl moved over, smoothing his hair back as well.

Timmy looked up from his post between the pair of legs to see the two women kissing. He held the redhead down more fiercely, moaning on her clit.

“My turn, Timmy. Please.” begged the blonde.

Obliging, he let go of the redhead, giving her one last long lick. Then he got up, making the blonde get on all fours, she was eager to please and did what he wanted quickly.

He bent her over, arching her back to his liking. Spreading her cheeks, he stuck out his tongue, dabbing over her clit. She started to moan and her hips wiggled, so he held her still with his hands on either side of her ass.

She whimpered into the plush comforter on the bed. Timmy could tell she wanted to keep still for him, but just couldn’t control herself, her hips shaking, as he lapped between her folds.

The redhead surprised him by maneuvering between him and the blonde to put her mouth on his cock. The thick head of his cock slid between her lips effortlessly with how much saliva she used on him. She slurped and bobbed her head like a pro.

Timmy stood up from the bed, and blondie joined in, running her tongue along his shaft in time with the redhead. He held their heads on either side of his cock, letting them glide their tongues and lips on his length.

“Fuuuck.” He trembled at both the sensation on his dick and the sight of two naked, eager women on their knees for him, tasting his cock.

The blonde went on suckling his balls, whilst the redhead jerked his now slippery cock, alternatively using her mouth as well. Hearing their moans as their mouths were filled with him, made him hard as stone.

Their hands on his thighs, his lower stomach, their lips on his cock, lipstick smudges, running mascara, it was all too much. He needed to penetrate. “Okay, who’s first?”

“Me! Please Timmy.” cooed the blonde, drool dripping from her lips.

“All fours, then.” he instructed.

The redhead insisted on lying underneath the other woman as Timmy mounted her from behind. The two women resumed kissing, he watched as their tongues roamed shamelessly around one another’s mouth.

He slid into the blonde woman’s wet pussy easily, he grunted as he felt how tight she was. Gripping her hips, he rutted his own against her.

She squealed against the lips of the redhead. She cried out a string of curse words as Timmy’s cock pierced through her.

As the minutes drew on, he rammed her harder and harder, and he began to really sweat. His hips smacked loudly against her ass. The blonde moaned and whimpered as his balls clapped onto her clit rapidly.

The blonde would tremble, holding onto the red haired beauty under her for dear life. She pacified her overwhelmed nature by suckling on the large tits of the other woman.

………

Later on, the redhead was still on her back, but she was the one with Timmy’s cock inside of her. The blonde squatted over her face as he was between her legs.

His cock pounded hard into her, as she lapped and lapped hungrily on the blonde girl’s pussy. She moaned on the wetness, smacking the other woman on the ass as she ate her out.

The redhead’s pussy was so wet around Timmy’s cock, it was sloshing, practically squelching.

“Fuck, this is heaven.” cried Timmy. He and the blonde were facing each other, both perched on the redhead’s body as they all pleasured each other. He grabbed the woman by the bleached hair on her head, kissing her deeply, not caring how sloppy they got.

…….

The blonde now sat on Timmy’s cock, cowgirl style and the redhead mounted his face this time as he lay flat on his back.

Both girls steadied themselves with clammy hands on his sweaty chest, the only relief they could get was kissing each other as one bounced on his dick and the other moved to and fro on his mouth.

The redhead giggled and moaned as his tongue zipped along her folds with her movements. At the same time, the blonde cried out, “Ah, your cock’s so big.”

“I know!” agreed the redhead, “I could feel it in my stomach.” Then, she gasped as his mouth attacked her clit. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” was the only thing she could muster.

A few moments later, Timmy had them both kneel as he jerked his cock. They waited, panting in anticipation, so animalistic, like dogs begging for a treat.

The ladies took turns licking and kissing the tip of his leaking cock and running their moist lips over his full balls.

He finally let out a guttural groan, pumping his hand fast as his cum shot out onto their faces.

January 21, 2025

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake @imnotoverlyobsessive @timhalchala

[sirhamburrger]

DIE WITH A SMILE (m. bachira x reader)

━☆ (post-apocalypse au, for day three of @phantasmaebg) ━☆ in which the only thing you can do is join him in undeath. ━☆ wc (written portion): 831 || tags/cw: f!reader, reader is a researcher working on a cure for the virus, bachira is part of an elite military squad, major character deaths (both bachira and reader, among others)(this is a zombie apocalypse au after all) || event m.list ━☆ why did i write this... this is so sad *runs away crying*

meguru bachira is beautiful. a little tired - that much is evident from the dark circles under his golden eyes - but still: beautiful. his eyes practically light up when you step into the room, clad in full personal protective equipment. 

for a moment you get self conscious of how you look dressed like a walking banana, but that all disappears when he chuckles warmly, making you blush beneath your mask.

“you’re even more beautiful than i expected,” the squadron member breathes.

you cock your head to the side, highly skeptical as you take a seat in front of him. “you can only see my eyes, though,” you point out, voice muffled.

“yeah, well.” a short pause, then, “they say true beauty is all in the eyes.”

you don’t quite know how you should respond to that, so you don’t.

you end up talking to him than is honestly necessary for the psych eval. he’s a sweet man, and the things his squad-mates have said about him are proven true - optimistic, cheerful, perceptive. somehow, the man you’ve only ever been able to talk to over the phone from behind a reinforced glass panel has become one of the people you trust most in this world.

maybe it’s the way he listens to you intently about the stresses of work, lets you confide in him about hard days - especially really hard days when you find out another one of you has been lost to the virus - trusts you enough to spill his own secrets too.

maybe it’s the way he laughs, or calls you pretty when he’s not calling you “doc”. maybe it’s the way you relate to him, both being people with risky jobs. in a broken world like this, either of you could go at any minute. but he helps you accept it, and he helps you embrace it.

but maybe it’s the way he tries to reach a hand out to hold yours on the table during a particularly hard part of the conversation, but restrains himself, a dejected and heartbroken expression on his face.

how ironic that the only thing you want is the only thing you cannot have. not just yet, at least.

it’s been three days since squad z perished in tokyo’s biggest hot zone, and meguru is not doing well.

it started with erratic vitals - high blood pressure, arrhythmia, severe migraines, then escalated  violent outbursts. your superiors don’t allow you in the room with him any more, even though you’d bet your life he would never hurt you. it hurts to see him like this. delirious, in mourning, broken.

he is not the man he once was, and you’re not entirely sure he’ll live long enough to see that change.

he still talks with you, so at least that hasn’t changed. you are one of the last few scientists on earth even remotely close to synthesising a cure, since many have been wiped out already. it’s stressful, frankly, and you’ve had shameful, selfish thoughts about ending it all - joining the dead before you are forced to walk amongst them. but meguru tells you to keep your chin up, doc, you’re getting there.

and who are you to say no to him, if not for the fact that he’s not doing much better himself?

you open up to him once, more than you think you should. you tell him about how you’ve wanted to be a scientist for the longest time as a child, but before that, you wanted to be a singer. but your parents saw no future in it. so you never pursued it further.

in the quiet of the space between you, then, meguru bachira asks if you would sing for him.

and you do.

you don’t even notice when he starts to cry, but you know that you’re crying too.

you bring him flowers sometimes. he lets them die in a corner of the confinement cell. you can’t blame him for not even trying.

the horde has broken in.

all your colleagues, your superiors, your friends - they’re all gone. they’ve all been reduced to mindless monsters, hungry for human flesh. now, those monsters push against the door, trying to get to you.

you stare back through the glass, eyes landing on meguru, who convulses on the ground, clutching his head. his head jerks backwards, blood spilling from his mouth. just like all the others. you let out a sob, your heart aching for him.

you fumble for your phone.

the air smells like blood, and meguru looks like hell.

you pad towards him slowly, tears streaming down your face. you freeze when he notices you, hunger in his bloodshot eyes. you take a step towards him. hold his hand. embrace him. tilting your head to the side, exposing your neck to him.

he’s crying now as he mumbles something. it sounds like i’m sorry and thank you. maybe it’s both. you feel hot breath on your neck, and his sharp teeth sinking into your skin.

and all is well in the world.

bllk masterlist || general masterlist © sirhamburrger 2025

[wizardvanmural]

saw a post abt trans fem hrt in china earlier, and its got me interested in the differences in hrt around the world. like in australia, doctors will not prescribe injected estradiol, when thats one of the most common forms in other countries.

long post so heres yr break, cw for discussion of minor surgery

here mostly you start on pills (either zumenon, progynova, or, rarely, if theres shortages, estrofem), maybe go to patches or gel. theres an option in some places for something a bit different tho. used to be only one endocrinologist did this, in sydney, but about 5 years ago it became much more widespread.

you have to order them from one of a handful of compounding pharmacies, but, they take 100 or 200mg of estradiol, and some binding agents, and compress it into a fused, crystalline pellet.

under local anaesthetic they make a small incision over some fatty tissue like your hips, or butt, insert a tool to the depth and location (about an inch sideways from the incision) and then place the pellets inside. it takes like 20 minutes, most of which is waiting for the local anaesthetic to infiltrate tissue.

i find it a bit stressful, but, i have my own problems.

anyway once thats done they put steri-strips and a waterproof dressing on it, it heals over a week or two, and begins to dissolve.

it lasts about 8 to 12 months, and for most of that time will maintain steady levels of estrogen, tailing off towards the end. its often used while aiming for quite high levels of estrogen (900 to 1200 pmol/L), and at those levels it will suppress T production on its own. you can aim for lower levels as well, its just associated with that because of the guy who used to be the only one doing it. costs like 350aud including the surgery and the implants, which is cheaper than the cost of enough progynova to maintain those levels for me.

havent rlly heard abt anyone outside aus doing these.

anyway im healing up from getting like 400mg of estradiol shoved into my hip last week, and then hitting the implant site on a doorknob so hard it is still bruised, the following night. you cannot tell where the pellets are, also

anyway tell me abt different elements of hrt in your country! curious how different it gets

[simulanka]

Lets try this again.

Badly written but fun !

Last post crashed...

BASIC PLOT

Pure Vanilla is evil alongside his wife ! Purelily but devious. ! Basically the same plot of the game but PV is on DE's side this time.

Pure vanilla n white lily pull a fake fight stunt to get the other ancients souljams but it goes completely wrong and destroys almost everything leaving them with themselves and their jams. Same plot as the game but both r evil.

To start shadows a lot more sentient in the souljam. He has a spiritual form only Pure vanilla can see but he chooses to ignore (Can also see it if you have a good connection to magic but only when he's by mirrors in a form hes possessed. )

Pure vanilla gives his souljam to White lily to provide her with more power and oh dear old shadow is not so happy about this. He's actually. Quite ANNOYED. So he takes it upon himself to possess a cookie of darkness he grabbed.

Shadow isn't pleased with this form but he takes it anyways. It's similar to him ish. He grew it's hair out.

During the big fake fight stunt he went to steal the souljam. Don't ask how but he did it and it was hard idfk. I'm tired.

And after this he traveled round and raided the abandoned academy to get clothes and information on how to somehow reobtain his form

This form is weak HE is weak. He doesn't have a root for his magic (Souljams are their roots. Especially without a physical form beasts can only thrive off those.) So he can't do much or even wield the souljam if he wanted too.

He ends up at the vanilla kingdom destroyed in all and finds a familiar face

Thats fuxkign right pvlily kid FOR LIFE this is jolly ain't it

Small information !: Shadow cursed her before as a baby to make sure she didn't ruin his plan now that he has no root for his magic he can't uncurse her.

Erythronium was told to stay in the kingdom by her parents for her own safety they thought it'd be safe because it wasn't really planed to destroy the kingdom

He finds her and goes fuck that's the kid I cursed. And is also like hey you're way too young to be alone.

So he takes her... ouh.. no. Now he's a father and is trying to figure out how to reobtain his form yayyy

Here they are the evil bitches

They wanted to come back for their baby but couldn't. They're on a relentless search for her.

They're sort of healthy but in an unhealthy way. They have the same morals and ideals but their views of eachother are odd...

Pure vanilla is obsessive and utterly in love with her he'd do anything for her. She loves him. But that's not her priority. He prioritizes her and she prioritizes herself.

They're like pretty evil in this au upped by a lot they don't rlly have a limit to their actions. They'll do anything to get what they want.

Basically shadows a single dad and these two are happy with their life !

[tales-from-drama-school]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING WEEKS TO POST THIS

But punko made us promise not to spoil, so I didn't

I present to you...the keys family portrait!!! More content under the cut <3

I know ex libris wouldn't have anything like this but it's kind of fun to imagine if they did. Like look at them

They're sitting on bookmarks

Back: Ambrose, Bronze, Cerulean, Goldie, Nox, Garnet, Sparaxis

Front: Platinum, Ivy, Silver, Violet, Greywen

(from left to right btw)

My story roles are roughly based on Carl Jung's theory of the 12 story archetypes. I know I'm going to have to redraw this at some point when we meet the rest of the keys bc Punko will do it differently but that's a later me problem

Of course we have our faves, Goldie, Bronze and Silver. Who are the Hero, helper and heroine respectively

In the archetypes, Hero is self explanatory, but Helper is equivalent to the 'caregiver' role, and the 'Heroine' is just an aspect of the hero. But I think the 'Heroine' role could replace the 'everyman' role. So there's that.

NOX AND VIOLET EVERYBODY!!!!!

I actually think Nox suits him so well, although I still think of him as Buddy most of the time

The 'villain' and 'villainess' don't really exist in the archetypes, although there is a role called the 'outlaw', which I expect would kind of be an antagonist. But because of what we know of them so far, Nox (Buddy) replaces the 'explorer'. Not that this is very important

Sorry the picture turned out so big!!! This is Cerulean. I invented him for my fic Darcy Forenski and the Summer She Was a Wizard and he's the mentor key, which is the 'sage' role. They're the same thing. It's why he has a beard :D

This is Garnet, the ruler key. We've seen an arm of a red key in the episode 'dreams by day', so I just drew the rest of him lol

This is Sparaxis, the trickster key. In Cinderella boy, there's a 'thief' key that's mentioned, and in the 12 story roles there's a 'jester' key. Because Buddy (Nox) was the black colour I kind of ran out of ideas to make them look more like a thief, so I just made them a trickster with a jester hat.

Also the name sparaxis comes from an orange-coloured flower

This is Greywen, the creator/inventor key. What role does this allow you to access? Mad scientist. Artists. People that set the plot in motion. (she kind of ended up looking a little bit like prunella. Oops)

This is Ivy, the magician key. I did not draw her very well. But we also saw her in 'Dreams by day' in Silver's dream, and I thought the wings fit well with the magic idea.

This is Ambrose, the lover key. I know, I know! Its been said that there is no 'love interest' key, but that doesn't mean there can't be a 'lover' key. I mean, I guess he could be the thief key but that would just make him Hermes

Like, the literal greek god

anyway

Last, but certainly not least, we have Platinum. The innocent/the shadow.

This role is kind of hard to explain because in the 12 roles theory there's a role called the 'innocent', which is like the doomed innocent. The things that are good in the world. But there are a lot of roles that don't quite fit if you put all 12 keys in a story, and also because the keys are people I don't think she would be this perfect little girl all the time, even though she might look it. That's why I called her the shadow. I think this one is the least likely to be part of canon but it's what made the most sense to me

Anyway have some extra drawings of cerulean because he's my boy and I love him

[regency-monster-love]

Part 10 of Colin and Susannah | Master post

Male werewolf x female human | Regency era | NSFW: p in v, rough sex, light d/s dynamics, light breeding, biting (no blood), knotting

Susannah’s first time having sex with Colin in his wolf form was just one of many firsts they experienced in the beginning of their marriage.

Some were smaller, like the first time she took his cock into her mouth. He was so patient with her, letting her explore at her own pace and adjust to his size, not thrusting into her mouth, petting her hair and praising her for how well she was pleasing her mate.

Others were bigger, like her first heat with him in his wolf form. Just as he had promised her when he took her virginity in the garden, he mated her over and over, for days. He unleashed load after load inside her fertile womb, wasting none of his spend in her mouth or on her body, keeping it locked inside by his thick knot. They scarcely left his bedroom, and when they did, he growled in jealous possessiveness at any male who even glanced at her.

Then there was their first full moon together. Colin asked Susannah if she would permit him to chase her and then claim her outside. The idea was a bit frightening to her, but also thrilling, and she readily agreed. His blood sang as he pursued her, driven mad with need by the moon and her aroused scent, and when he caught her he did not hesitate to rip her gown from her body and plunge into her with a snarled “Mine!”

He drove into hard, from behind—another first—and Susannah was thankful that his estate was so large that there was no chance of anyone else seeing or hearing them as he fucked her under the moonlight, her screams of ecstasy ringing through the cool night air like she was just as much an animal as he. 

She gloried in being able to unleash her passion fully. Even in the privacy of their bedroom, there was a tiny undercurrent of worry that she might be too loud during their love-making, even though Colin had assured her that none of his family nor servants would care if they heard the two of them enjoying each other. But here, outside, she felt completely unencumbered by any human propriety, and reveled in getting to enjoy her husband’s wildest instincts while indulging in her own.

It was still strange to her to see him the next day following an encounter like that, dressed in his elegant clothing, the perfect image of a gentlemale, while remembering back to the night before and how he had been hunched over her, drooling and snarling as his cock drilled into her cunt. She wondered if she would ever become accustomed to this dichotomy in his appearance and behavior.

She decided to paint it. The clothed portrait was relatively easy, but the nude one—well, that was a first for her as well, and it took quite a while to finish that painting, due to the way they both behaved when he posed for her in his wolf form.

He was crouched on all fours before her, muscles stretched taut under his fur as he held himself still for her perusal, staring intently back at her from the other side of her easel as she worked. Her eyes roved over his primal body. She hoped she could capture in her painting the power that sung from every stunning line of his form.

“You shouldn't look at me like that,” he said in a low voice.

“I have to look at you to paint you,” she laughed.

“But not like that. I know that look and where it leads.” There was a smoky thickness to the rumble of his voice that she knew, too.

But she decided to feign ignorance a little longer. “And where does it lead?”

“To me fucking you,” he stated, so plainly but gruffly that her breath caught in her throat.

His ears twitched at the sound. His cock twitched too. It was already half hard, beginning to emerge from his sheath.

“I'm trying very hard to behave myself and not disturb your painting,” he said, “but you are making that very difficult.”

“What a liar you are,” she scoffed. “You are purposely trying to entice me with such scandalous language.”

“And it’s working. I can smell that it is,” he growled.

Her hand holding the paintbrush trembled, marring the stroke she was making upon the canvas. She huffed in frustration, absentmindedly pushing a stray curl off her brow. When she looked up, she found Colin smiling at her as though amused. “Now you are distracting me into making mistakes, and this amuses you?”

“It's not your mistakes which amuse me, not directly—it's the paint you just wiped across your forehead.”

She made another sound of frustration. Ordinarily, she was very neat when painting, but the temptation of her husband's nude wolf form before her had caused her to be careless and make a mess of her hands, and now, apparently, her face.

“Don't be cross, darling. You still look as beautiful as always,” Colin assured her.

Susannah appreciated the compliment, but his sweet words didn't make it any easier for her to focus on painting him—they only made her think of how much she loved him, and that made her think of how much she wanted him. And he was still looking at her with that hungry golden fire smoldering in his eyes. Heat prickled down her spine to pool in her belly.

Her paintbrush clattered to the floor as she rushed past the easel to him, grasping his face in her palms to press a hard kiss to the end of his muzzle that he eagerly returned.

Paint was soon flecked throughout his fur, from both her fingers threading through the ruff on his neck and from her messy painting apron that was now pressed up against his belly as he held her flush with his hard body, curling his long wolf tongue into her mouth. But he couldn’t smell the metallic tang of her paints any longer; the lush scent of her burgeoning arousal filled his snout entirely.

“You said you wanted to paint my animalistic side,” he growled. “Shall I demonstrate it to you?”

“Yes, Colin, please!”

He swiftly took her down to the floor, flipping her to face away from him as he did so. She braced her hands on the rug and raised her backside up to him immediately, presenting herself for mating in the manner she knew he enjoyed when he was in a feral mood like this.

Desire flooded him, thick and heavy, at the sight. “What a good mate you are, submitting to your alpha without command,” he praised her, as he flipped up her skirts onto her back.

Chill air met her skin, but in a heartbeat his paws were there to cover and caress her, each one so large it engulfed each round globe of her ass. A thumb lightly trailed in the space between them. “Perhaps one day I will take you here as well,” he mused in a low voice behind her. She gasped at the obscene idea, her pussy clenching around nothing. His thumb dipped down further to that more familiar location. “But not until I get a pup on you. Until then, I need to keep spilling my seed in this pretty cunt. Knot it there tight.”

“Yes,” she breathed. “Do it.”

“I will.” But he didn’t. He circled the pad of one finger around her bud, making her throb between her legs and rock her hips back for even more.

“You said you would demonstrate your animalistic side,” she reminded him, her voice tight with impatience and naked lust.

He chuckled, low and dark. “How singular to have you more desperate than me.” His finger continued its circling, his other hand caressing over her ass and hip. “Perhaps it's because we are not in our bedroom, hm? Any servant could walk in and see us.”

Their servants were too well trained to do such a thing, but a broken moan fell from her lips at the scandalous thrill of that fantasy regardless, and she pushed her hips back again with fresh need. “Don't tease me. You told me I need never beg.”

“You're right.” His hand disappeared from her backside, there was the soft rustle of fabric, and then she felt the tip of his cock slide through her drenched folds, up to where his finger still circled. Desire and anticipation twisted tightly in her belly. He leaned over her back, his breath hot against her ear. “I'll give you the wolf now, you impatient little thing. If it's too much—my actions or my words, anything—tell me to stop,” he whispered.

“Yes,” she moaned, and as soon as he heard that word he unleashed his werewolf instincts to barrel through his blood and send his hips lunging forward to spear her on his cock with a howl of pleasure.

She cried out at the sudden, delicious sting of that initial stretch to accept the heft of his werewolf cock into her tight little cunt. His cock was both her torment and her salvation, giving her pain yet immediately soothing it away with the heavenly feeling of fullness it provided her on every thrust, until the sting was no more than a memory.

Colin fucked her with mindless fervor, her hips clenched tight in his clawed wolf hands to jerk her back against him again and again. The scent of her pleasure was a sweet cloud of intoxication, obscuring human thoughts and cares. “Fucking you…mating…like an animal,” he panted and grunted. “You like this?”

“Yes!” she cried.

“Yes what?” he snarled.

She had no idea what he wanted her to say. “Yes, I like it,” she panted.

His claws pressed tighter against her skin. “No.” He punctuated it with a brutal snap of his hips that punched the air from her lungs. “Call me alpha.”

She moaned at knowing she was part of his pack now, making her feel like she really was an animal getting bred. It was a wild, freeing sensation, even while she submitted to his control over her. “Yes, alpha, I like this,” she whimpered. “I love it, alpha!”

He groaned at the sound of her calling him alpha for the first time. It sent a fiery thrill through his blood that was very similar to the primal rush he got when he was forced into violence to discipline a packmate. He slammed against her harder, faster, driven on by unbreakable, brutal instinct. “Good mate,” he gritted out through clenched teeth. “You’re pleasing your alpha.”

Soon Susannah could brace herself against the savage power of his thrusts no longer, and her arms collapsed, sending the front of her body down to the floor. Colin swiftly leaned over her back to slide an arm under her head to cushion her as he continued to rut her like a beast.

His great weight bore down on her back, but there was a comfort to the pressure, a sense of security amongst the dizzying chaos of his plunging cock and savage grunts and growls. He was wrapping her up from the outside while he filled her from the inside, melding them together, making her whole.

He tilted his head to push his muzzle against her neck and shoulder, seeking out the scar of the mating bite he’d left on her skin. His tongue darted out to trace a hot, wet path over it, making Susannah gasp and clench around him, and the mating bond throbbed in his bones and blood. “Tell me you’re mine,” he rasped out.

“I’m yours!” she gasped.

He nipped at her skin, making her squeeze around his cock again. “Whose?”

“Alpha! I’m yours, alpha!”

Triumphant, possessive pleasure howled through his soul, and instantly his teeth latched onto her mating scar, not breaking her skin, but delivering a knife-sharp reminder of the irrevocable bond that they shared—of who she now belonged to, submitted to.

The feel of his sharp teeth pressing into her vulnerable flesh undid her and she came with a cry.

Oh, how glorious that felt around his cock! He could wait no longer—he had to have his knot inside her. He reared back to sit upright on his haunches, pulling Susannah up in his strong arms to pin her against his chest and belly and fuck her in his lap, using gravity to help pull her down onto his knot as he snapped it up against her at the same time. The bulge breeched her, then swelled so he could not pull it back out again, and everything tensed to steel as his climax burst within him, pumping all of his pleasure and possession and love into his mate’s body.

Susannah felt the hot rush as he flooded her with his essence. She panted and gasped and clung to whatever fur she could reach as she drowned in his pleasure mingled with the remnants of her own.

He held her still against him for several moments before slowly opening his jaws to release her shoulder. His tongue flicked out to soothe over the pink marks his sharp teeth had left in her skin, and then he was standing from the floor, carrying her locked on his knot over to the sofa so they could lie there together, her small body nestled in the crook between his chest and knees. He petted and cooed over her, praising how well she had taken his rough treatment and submitted to him, asking if he had hurt her anywhere or scared her. She assured him she was well, that she had felt safe the entire time, petting him back and murmuring her own sweet compliments.

“Was that a suitable demonstration of my animalistic side, do you think?” She could hear the satisfied smile in his voice.

“Yes, alpha,” she said, with her own smile at the way he softly grunted and twitched inside her at that appellation. “Though I don’t think it is something I’ll be able to capture in a painting.”

He trailed a claw down her side and over her hip. “Perhaps I simply need to demonstrate it a few more times, for you to really get the picture.”

~ 🐺🎩 ~

End of part 10 of Colin and Susannah

Thank you to @99goosebumps for the initial idea to have Susannah paint Colin in his wolf form! I hope I did it justice!

Read all of my Regency monster ficlets and snippets at the tag #my writing.

[whatremained]

exactly! like even if we WANT to see a character as good, we can’t, or were quite literally ignoring the plot of the show!!

for evan, yes, he isn’t an ill-mannered person. he wants to do good for the murphys and make them feel better, but while doing that, he actively lies about a friendship with a person who committed suicide, and this, while allowing the family to rebuild, just likely traumatizes them more.

for connor, yes, he’s very much a victim when it comes to the fact he was put in rehab. rehab is terrible. he’s been through a lot mentally, ever since he was like… young young (book as reference), but none of this excuses the fact that he threatens zoe while he’s alive, and this builds up fear and hatred within her because yes. it is scary when someone is on the other side of the door screaming that they’re going to kill you. even if you know they won’t actually, it’s terrifying. if we ignore this fact, requiem has no meaning behind it and that’s not what the show intends.

for zoe, she’s literally just trying to make it through her family life as well as she can without trying to cause anything. she’s constantly ignored by her own family, and she’s coping with it the best she can. but she’s still flawed. zoe refuses to realize things are more than just bad or good for a long while in the show. i argue not fully until the end of act one. zoe can also come off… rude towards her parents and connor, but then again… she’s sixteen so. do we expect much more? though i will say calling your mentally ill brother a psychopath when… he probably does not have the mental disorder to be considered that kind of term (i’d either argue he has autism or both an anxiety disorder & major depressive disorder [autism is commonly misdiagnosed as that, BUT many people do just have anxiety and depression.] though it’s hard to say because… we barely see him on stage and we don’t see much of his symptoms. in the book, where we hear from him the most, to me at least, as an autistic person, he reads as autistic… but it’s really up for what a person believes). zoe to me comes off as one of the least morally grey characters to me, as she isn’t… actively causing harm in the story. if she’s harming anyone by these thought patterns of good and bad, black and white, she’s harming herself.

alana is very similar to evan in that she comes with good intentions with almost everything she does… maybe not her shoving her way into positions (as we see with the connor project), but a ton of the things she does is for a good cause and though it seems performative, it isn’t. still, alana constantly speaks over people, ignoring them, and publicly posts something she believes to be someone’s suicide note. though she believes the latter is beneficial… it just… wouldn’t be? as we see because with the presumption that it is connor’s note, everyone begins to harass the murphy’s. did evan share it to alana to keep up a lie? yes… but did evan say to publish it…? no. that was a VERY odd choice coming from alana.

jared is a character i… hate. a lot. but you can’t deny that what he really craves is a friendship. we see him distraught after evan ditches him. we see him trying to incorporate himself into the story evan has made up, and it’s likely because he desires a friendship. and to a point, that can make a person sympathetic… still… he helped evan keep up a lie. and was a complete asshole to evan before and after the lie began because…? who knows.

heidi genuinely wants whats best for evan, even if she has to work all day and attend classes and study all night. this is NOT something i will blame her for because… she’s a single mother. it is HARD to live in this economy. she’s trying her best. she also is flawed. she doesn’t REALLY try to reach out to her son (she does say that she shouldn’t have needed evan to tell her he was hurting), she insults evan’s stepmother for…? no reason? also she does tend to come off as rude (in the arena stage 2015 version as well, but…) in good for you and a little before that. blowing up on your son because… he found comfort in other people besides you and getting mad at him because you believed he begged the other family for finical help is… odd! (he didn’t even say anything about it to cynthia and larry, i’m pretty sure…. zoe did. zoe’s the one who wanted heidi over in the first place). i’m not saying heidi is this terrible parent, but she’s not a good mother either. my thing with heidi though… she’s one of the only characters who admits their faults (including evan, somewhat). she IS morally grey, but she is actively working towards being a genuinely good person.

cynthia is also someone who wants to be a good person. she actively tries to treat connor not as terribly as most parents would, and i do applaud her for that. problem is, the way she goes about it is harmful, so much so that (at least in the book) connor basically feels like he’s just a lab rat to the hundreds of different treatments she puts him through… not to mention she ignores zoe and how zoe feels.

and lastly, larry… who i feel gets ignored FAR too often. larry is not this terrible guy. he cares for his children. and he cared son. he did. that’s the WHOLE point of to break in a glove. it shows that he did what he thought was right… but similar to cynthia’s method… it just didn’t work for connor. it traumatized connor MORE. along with the fact that he has the reaction of 75% of parents when their child says that they want to die… the reaction being that the kid just wants attention. also, just… generally… a bit neglectful of both connor and zoe.

all that being said, it pisses me off how a lot of people don’t realize dear evan hansen is NOT supposed to have a good side and a bad side. and a lot of people forget dear evan hansen isn’t.., supposed to be a nice story? it’s supposed to be fucked up. the original idea for it was literally based on a terrible thing.

and there’s this weird section of people who act like the story is unrealistic when it just. isn’t?? the story is based off something similar that happened at pasek’s highschool. and i mean, the same thing happened at MY high school (not when i was there, but when my older brother was there). a student passes away and people pretend to be their friend, and they sell stories and things to get profit out of people’s death. attention and/or money (whether that’s because they’re bad people, or if they feel alone too is up for debate on every person because… we don’t know most of these people personally). and then people forget about the student in a couple weeks. it’s VERY common, and it’s cruel, gross, and terrible. but the story is FAR from unrealistic. though it can be said that dear evan hansen is an exaggeration of such… most stories are.

and though i do argue the marketing for dear evan hansen can be odd at times, the story itself is not meant to be seen as nice. it’s supposed to be cruel.

sorry for the ramble… i just wanted to go into more depth with what the post was saying. :]

[638287492818472]

I HAVE CRABS!!!!!!!!!!! Anonymous friend: thank you from the bottom of my heart 🫶

[milkywayes]

GARRUS VAKARIAN: DATABASE IMAGE ACCESS. > PT. 1 : 2160, 2166, 2170. > all files backdated according to user preferences: (terran_coordinated.calendar).

[koszmarnybudyn]

I am in Eskew.

[mementoasts]

feels like somebody is looking in...